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- TOP TEN SIGNS YOUR LIFEGUARD IS NUTS
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- 10. Instead of a whistle, uses a tuba
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- 9. Can't say the word "buoy" without laughing hysterically
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- 8. You see him stuffing his trunks with jellyfish
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- 7. Sits with back to the ocean
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- 6. Just married a C.P.R. dummy
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- 5. The gold crown and the flowing velvet cape
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- 4. Sees a guy drowning and says, "Sorry, pal -- I just ate
- lunch, so I've got to wait half an hour"
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- 3. Breakfast, lunch and dinner -- chlorine
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- 2. She keeps breaking into David Hasselhoff's house
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- 1. He's wearing nothing but a whistle
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- Letterman, Monday, March 27, 1995, Originally broadcast 6/27/94
- Copyright Worldwide Pants, Inc. 1995
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